Becoming a Geeky Mom...

Without That Whole Pregnancy Thing

Little Sean made me gifts for Mother's Day in school. :)

"Being a 'Mom' isn't about giving birth. It's about giving."

- Lani

Now that Mother's Day has passed...and I was celebrated yet again...I have come to the conclusion that I must be a "Mom."

Let's take a look at how I became a MOM:

It is interesting to think about how people from different generations viewed & perceived my early relationship with Sean, who is now my fiance. 

People from older generations had always warned me - OK they basically said NO to me dating anyone with kids. 

Then there were my friends & family (closer to my generation) who after learning about Sean, would first ASK me, "Well is he a good guy?" 

I found this gap of generational thought baffling & intriguing. Here were friends & family of mine (single or not) who SUPPORTED the idea of dating a guy who had a child VS the older generation who (with experience & reason) told me to NEVER date or get involved with someone with kids. The one thing both sides had in common, was that everyone wanted me to be happy. :)

* Mind you, if someone had multiple children & multiple baby mamas that is where I was not only going to draw the line - but I was going to build a Giant wall of NO.

So after hearing out both sides I took another good look at the situation called, "Sean."

Sean hanging with the Wonder Twins at Comic Con

Here was this guy who had a 2 yr old kid. OK. When he had his son, he was to be married to the Mom & unfortunately (or rather fortunately for me) that relationship did not work out. OK. He was sharing custody (at the time) with the Mom. OK. He was caring for his son financially & emotionally. OK. He loves his son. 

Huh. The stereotype label never mentioned anything about "love?"

After beginning to really look at the FACTS & not just placing the situation of "Sean" into a simple label of "Single Male with Kid" I began to realize that I was judging him (and my possible relationship with him) for literally wanting to have a family. Who was I to judge him? 

After looking at it logically I began to assess things emotionally. 

- Sean shared with me regularly that he cared & loved me. 

- We enjoyed each other's company tremendously.

- The things he loved, I loved.

- He made me smile, and brought the best out in me (and vice versa). 

- And when I was honest with myself - I too felt a strong connection of love between us. :) 

- There's a whole lot more I could say, but I don't think there's enough room for that list. :)


So here we are - now editing and reading my "Geeky Wedding Blog." 

Which brings us to the topic of becoming a "Mom" without having to give birth. :) 

I won't give you a bunch of fluff and tell you all that it's been a cake walk. 

But, I will tell you that this journey has been rewarding!

Many of you know that I taught theater & public speaking to young children early in my career. And I'm here to tell you...

TEACHING IS NOT THE SAME AS PARENTING. 

Being a parent is hard! I had no bloody idea how hard till I suddenly had a child (age 3) move in with Sean and I full time. I didn't realize that I was on the fast track path to becoming the scary 3 letter word... M-O-M.

At first it was terrifying to be labeled a "Mom", but as time went by and I began to see Little Sean change, grow, and even adopt some of my better habits (and even some of my not so great habits - lol) my fear started to dissapate. 

Here was a little person that not only was I teaching, but I was helping to GROW. And he was HAPPY to have me! 

Now that I think about it, I wasn't afraid of BEING a "Mom," I was afraid that I wasn't going to be a good enough "Mom." 

Well guess what world (and myself)?! I AM.

I'm not perfect. Sean's not perfect. Little Sean's not perfect. But when we're walking to the car and Lil Sean talks about how excited he is that "Daddy and I are getting married and that he can't wait to be the ring bearer", or when Little Sean proudly tells his friends that his "whole room & house is covered in superheroes", or when Little Sean describes to people how he, "his Daddy, & his Lani dressed as pirates for the pirate festival" - I realize that maybe being a MOM isn't such a bad idea. 

* Especially since there is a holiday that celebrates how awesome I am - I intend to accept all gifts, cards, flowers, meals, etc that come with each and every Mother's Day.

Besides, so what if I got a little early practice with becoming the ultimate Geeky Mom? That just means that I can grow, learn, & level-up my parenting skills and become even better...for the next time... ;)

This Geeky Family is 1 happy family!

My advice on becoming a geeky M-O-M: Learn to take things in stride, always be willing to level-up your parenting skills, & just know you will never be a perfect "parent." It is tough becoming a "Mom" figure (especially when you didn't give birth to your future child) but understand that the child will see you for YOU - and wants YOU around. Being a parent isn't about giving birth (if that were true Dads would not count) but it is about GIVING to the child. So go out, MOMS of all kinds, & wear your MOM badges with honor & pride! I SALUTE YOU!

- Lani