Planning a Modern Geeky Engagement Party

Tradition? HA! I Think We'll Start Our Own!

Sean & I at Fanime 2012 (A HUGE Anime Convention) wearing "traditional" convention attire ;)

The planning has begun for our engagement party, and after getting asked numerous questions we almost decided to just say, "Hey we'll be at ____ on ___ day. If you want to congratulate us, hang with us, or even party with us we'll be there from ___ time to ___ time. See you there!" 

We were asked questions such as: how we were going to do it, in what style, the color scheme, where we were booking it, if we planned to have it on a "special date", dress attire (corresponding to the color scheme question), how much we planned to spend, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera... (Classic The King and I quote - WATCH IT)

And here we are thinking, "WTH. I thought all that planning was for our actual wedding?!" Yeah... so luckily for us, we're not all about "traditional" anything (save for a few goodies) and last I checked traditions were made to be amorphous - able to flow and ebb with the current times and people. Emphasis on PEOPLE. :)

Before I get into what we've decided to be a well rounded, light hearted, & very us (non-expensive) geeky engagement party here's a little bit of HISTORY on how traditional engagement parties used to roll.

Now that is how an announcement is done!

Historically, engagement parties were normal parties at which a surprise announcement of the engagement was made by the father of the bride to his guests. The engagement party was to share the engagement news with family members and friends. Therefore, it was not a traditional gift-giving occasion, as none of the guests were supposed to be aware of the engagement until after their arrival.

In ancient Greece, an engagement party was a commercial transaction. It was essentially an oral contract, made between the man who gave the woman in marriage, usually her father, and the groom. The bride was not present.

In modern times, engagement parties often celebrate a previously publicized engagement. Gifts are often given and toasts or speeches are often made. Some couples choose not to have an engagement party.

While it varies, an engagement party sometimes is thrown at the beginning of the wedding planning process. It is often thrown at the couple's home or the home of a close friend or relative of the couple. This kind of engagement party usually includes engagement party gifts for the couple which are similar to wedding gifts in that they are household goods which will help the couple start their life together, but are usually less expensive and less formal than the gifts a couple will receive at their wedding.

- Wikipedia

Thanks Wikipedia! What would we all do without you!?  

After hearing about how engagement parties "should be" we obviously are not doing it any of those ways. (Especially the transaction part - lol) Aside from our party being a celebration of our announcement and being at the beginning of our wedding planning process the party itself will simply ring the words of "Yep, that's Lani & Sean." 

We knew everyone was expecting us to do a masquerade/costumed event (since our party is close to Halloween & we <3 dressing up). And because of that we decided against it! Instead we've chosen to go in a much simpler direction - for our own sanity. 

SURPRISE! No Costumes or masks...this time...

The location of our event is actually where we met & couldn't get each other out of our heads, but assumed that the other was "too hot" to be straight - a local LGBT nightclub called Brix. :D 

Side Note!

Three of our titles in the LGBT community of SJ (which we <3 & support!) are:

1: The Straight Couple the Gays Made 

2: The Obamas of San Jose

3: The "Gayest" Straight Couple

All of which we are proud & honoured to bear!

Us repping at San Jose Pride 2012, you know, just hanging with some friends...& Kat De Luna...

TIP: Your location could be some place meaningful to you (park, home, restaurant, cave, etc). You can also lessen your stress by choosing a place that needs minimal decoration.

We'll be using the amazing back patio (which needs little to no decorating) to host our event before the club officially opens (thanks to our adopted family there - THANK YOU ROD). And currently we're setting up foodies, drinks (alcohol is MAJOR if you want people to attend - lol), and some fun things to commemorate the evening.

TIP: Attend your local business/professional mixers! You never know who you'll meet! 

Thankfully since we've attended our fair share of Rainbow Chamber of Commerce mixers, Silicon Valley Capital Club mixers, and other business/professional mixers we've met some amazing people who can now help us survive this event. We're talking to a local caterer for hors d'oeuvres and a possible local winery to do a tasting (both we've met at mixers & have gotten to know). 

Wine tastings aren't just for the classy!
It's just another way to enjoy time with friends, & maybe make some new ones! 

As for sprinkling our personal magic fairy dust to make the event a little more us and special here are a few ideas we're using (you are all more than welcome to borrow/steal these)!

TIP: Your local Dollar Store is your friend!  Don't be afraid to shop there, your wallet will thank you later.

Easy, cheap (dollar store), and FUN! Props are great additions too! 

Who doesn't like taking pictures with friends? This fab idea is just so perfect, especially for our event. This easy and cheap idea will really add to any party since so many people love taking pics and posting them onto their many social sites.

One thing we might do is place a commemorative saying like "Lani & Sean <3 & Thank You!" and/or "Engaged Sep 07, 2012" at the top of the backdrop. Eh, I'm still thinking and working on the wording.

Instead of asking for presents, collect donations for a charity you believe in!

TIP: The gift part doesn't always have to be about you and your partner. Asking people to "gift" you donations to a local charity is an amazing alternative!

In lieu of presents (as we think it's rather selfish to ask people to give us presents now & at the wedding - we felt a bit like Cookie Monster if he was into eating presents - lol) we'll be hosting a donation box for Andy's Pet Shop; a local San Jose pet store that helps numerous rescue animals find foster homes & permanent homes!  

Now this isn't a new thing to do. Many people have made this a "tradition" for wedding type events, and it's one we really liked.

I love how Sean proposed to me! So I'm going to share that night via pictures!

TIP: Photos, photos, photos! Share as many photos, pieces of memorobilia, etc of that life event so you're not stuck repeating the proposal story the entire party!

Sharing the night of the proposal via pictures may or may not be a new tradtion, but I think it will add that little touch of, "Awwwwwww!" to the event. :D I still cannot believe how creative, honest, and really "us" Sean's proposal was... I love you, babe. 

Now the last & final possible idea...

To do or not to do...an engagement photo(s)...

Being that our party is only weeks away, do we really have the time to take engagement photos? Are they really that necessary? And what's the deal with all of the feet in/on the sand engagement pics? 

A simple way out of this would be to pick one of our fav pics of us, blow it up, place it in a frame, and have people sign the border around the pic. Done.

But...if you knew/know us we will always try to push the limits of what we think we can do. What's awesome is that engagement pics are entering the world of the GEEK!

(Photo credit: Heather Kincaid)

We do have a GREAT idea if we decide to take engagement photos, one that Sean is a bit in love with...but we'll keep the idea a secret for now... :D

(Side Tip: If you can't afford a Pro Photographer look into hiring students or amateurs. Craigslist is a great place to start!)

Now what makes our party Geeky? US! There may not be any real "geeky" things at this particular event, but just by being ourselves & adding a few of the touches that I talked about are enough to qualify this (I think) as a "Modern Geeky Engagement Party." :D

My advice on throwing a Modern Geeky Engagement Party: Don't let money or minute details get you down! Make this event about celebrating the 2 of you & your engagement. Remember, the Dollar Store's your friend & of course don't forget your ACTUAL FRIENDS/FAMILY! They only want to see you happy so the event could literally be a pot luck, just as long as you're surrounded by those that love the 2 of you. So sprinkle your own personal magic fairy dust onto your party, start your own traditions & it will be perfect.

I know ours will be. <3

- Lani

P.S. If you wanted to help rescued animals, help by donating & giving back to our charity of choice, Andy's Pet Shop. 

Thank you & virtual air hug to you!

P.P.S. New ideas, thoughts, and comments are always welcome! If you have a great idea, please share it!

_______

ADDED IDEA!!! 10/4/2012

We'll be creating & printing out questionnaires for the guests to fill out. We want to get people's thoughts, ideas, opinions, comments, etc on our wedding. So I think we'll ask things like, "What theme, color(s), etc do you think would be best for Lani & Sean's wedding?" About 3 questions total on the questionnaires & then we'll have a box that people can place them in so we can keep them for nostalgic reasons as well as ideas!  

If you have any other ideas for me please share them!